For this reason, I have tried to drown out that internal voice via external audio and trying to focus more on the present visually and sensually so that I do not lose time and be a little more functional with day to day activities.Internal monologue is thought to be partially controlled by corollary discharge, a type of brain signal.
But it is not meant to be the constant mode of being. When reading stories and such, this sort of focus is great as it allows me to fully envolope all my senses and thoughts into the reality of that story. These internal concepts became more of my reality than the real one. In the past when I would spend whole days in and out of these conversations I would have huge gaps of memory of what I did that day how I got place to place and would suffer mentally as I began to withdraw from the real world. When having internal conversations with these concepts of people I lose almost all focus to the present. When I start talking dialog to myself I do so having created entire concepts of people with their own minds feelings and even looks. It shuts down everything and just has me go, hmmm. Even if I’m talking to someone and they ask me something that really makes me think. My nose always seems to be on alert though, so there is that.This can be somewhat concerning because I can slip into deep thought without realizing it. Everything is channeled into imagination as far as I can tell. I hear nothing in my surroundings, and I forget about any physical discomforts. I know I’m nearly done when my tongue starts mouthing the words as if I was actually speaking it.ĭeep thought or focus is nearly all consuming.
I will just loop it several times internally verbally. If I must focus on something, or remember it well. Typically not needed unless I have to express myself. It’s like a second voice races through an entire book of words, then a primary ‘explainer’ voice has to go through and organize the words. This is fairly slower, but I don’t have to go through the complete thought. (Make a move in chess, type a text, respond to someone I’m conversing with) But if I really want to ruminate, I have to ‘trace’ out the thought in words. Most of my thoughts are incomplete gibberish that is only partially understood initially. I can essentially play movies in my head if I sit still and close my eyes, and focus.ītw there was a thread on this somewhere. My thoughts depend on how focused I am, the less focused, the more words, more focused= more images. When I think in an extremely focused manor its essentially like a voice over, of a film. So not only does my brain come up with little inventions, but its always making jokes. This morning I was learning to make pants, and I fucked up the crotch, and this was a talk I had with myself XD I sort of came to the conclusion of a turbocharger and a magnetic braking system, before they were a thing I knew about. I would have to guess im gifted in this regard, because its effortless. When I see inventions and how they work, my mind naturally starts sporadically connecting them to other things, and making uses. Its completely unintentional, and requires no effort. I think in a mixture of words and pictures, more like a film? I was just watching a video on generators, and for some reason an image popped into my mind, of a raincatcher, attached to a long string of generators, with a person walking up stairs wrapping around a house, to pour water into the raincatcher, to generate electricity. (completely subconscious) The last program is predicting and troubleshooting. One program is dedicated to the physical aspect, and the other is talking me through it. When im doing a physical task, my mind sort of runs three programs at once.
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